Old man in Skyrim – Part 9

The Premise
Skyrim is a vast sprawling game, you can pretty much do anything you want, so I decided to live in Skyrim, to see how an old man coped with the harsh environment and bizarre folk that inhabit this land. This is my tale!

The Rules
80 year old man in Skyrim.
Only doing what an average 80 year old can do.
No constantly running, using shouts (special powerful magics), magic or fast travel.
No murder or stealing or anything unethical, should always try to run away from a fight.
Read part seven here – https://radiothax.com/2013/10/30/old-man-in-skyrim-8/


Previously on ‘An old man in Skyrim’
I’m an 80 year old man trying to make a life for myself, after finding myself plonked in the middle of nowhere, with no clothes, money or food I’ve had to use my wits, body and brain to make a living for myself, I’m now a fully fledged bard after an horrific ordeal in a cave system riddled with zombies, I only survived because a dog adopted me and has been saving my life ever since.

So old, but such a fancy hat!
So old, but such a fancy hat!

Last night I decided I would move to Riften, a warm looking town, half a world away!

Chapter 2 – The walk to Riften

Day 10
The Road to Rorikstead

I wake up from a sleep that felt like a life time. My back, legs, arms and skin all ache from my recent endeavors. This is no life for an old man, looking around the inn, the faces of the patrons are all haggard and worn, yet they must only be in their mid 30’s, this is a harsh place to live, not many folk make it to 80 and those that do, do not go venturing in caves fighting zombies.

I need to retire and as I decided last night in a drunken stupor, I shall move to the warm looking (it looks warm on the map anyway) town of Riften in the south. Meeko is sitting beside me looking ready for anything, he’s such a good dog, I owe him my life several times over, it’s only right I bring him with me and find us a nice restful home to call our own.

Dog, inn, Bard - A usual night for me
Dog, inn, Bard – A usual night for me

We get up, thank the barman for his bard filled hospitality and leave his establishment!

It’s pissing it down with rain!

We turn 180 degrees and walk back into the pub, I’ve got over 1000 gold, I’m practically a millionaire so I rent the room for another night till the storm passes. I splash out on 3 bottles of booze and some of the mystery meat I have become rather fond of. I make my way back to my usual room, which thankfully has been cleaned now, and I tuck into the foods I bought. The bard strikes up her wondrous enchanting drum music and I drift off to a long relaxing sleep.

Day 11
When I wake and go downstairs a man comes up to me and begs me to find a long lost drum, I tell him ‘not on your nelly old boy’, he tells me it’s priceless, I tell him I don’t give a funk and do my now customary manoeuvre and walk away, but as I do I accidentally ask him to teach me some speech techniques. I’m not sure how I agreed to it and I certainly don’t plan on making any impromptu speeches or sermons, but I accidentally agreed to pay him 250 gold to teach me, so I let him teach me. Minutes later im slightly more confident at public speaking but down 250 gold! Balls!

That's a very nice hat!
That’s a very nice hat!

I go outside, it’s still raining, I decide to leave before I accidentally sign myself up for life drawing classes or an accounting course!

From Solitude there are two main paths to Riften one via a northern pass which is covered by snow, ice and mountains or a southern path which is also covered by snow and mountains but less snow, however the path is much steeper. Both ways have advantages and disadvantages. I don’t have to decide which path to take yet as I have to travel to Rorikstead again as that’s where the road diverges into this north/south dichotomy.

As I walk I pass a few familiar places and faces on the way, the guard outside Solitude then the folks of Dragon bridge, who haven’t come back to life.

Bring out your dead!
Bring out your dead!

This journey is like a walk down literal memory lane, eventually I enter the bandits camp, just to check things are how I left them.

They are!

I will not search this bandit!
I will not search this bandit!

While looking around the camp I spot three strange tall stones in the distance that I’ve never seen before. I figure I’ll never come back here again so I best take every opportunity to see what I can while I’m here.

I make my way to the three stones and look at what they OH GOD!

1, 2, 3! How many corpses can you count children?
1, 2, 3! How many corpses can you count children?

There are three very dead people here, and watching over the very dead corpses is one very large and very alive cat or lion. I don’t waste time checking on its genus. Meeko the brave jumps in and goes paw to claw with it. The cat takes one swipe and sends Meeko about 20 feet through the air, I’m certain he’s dead and as the cat is bounding towards me, I will be following him to the afterlife very shortly.

I turn and fall off a cliff into the fast flowing river that has saved my life before, cats hate water, but this giant bruit doesn’t and dives right in.

That's one wet pussy!
That’s one wet pussy!

I swim over to an island, the cat luckily gets swept slightly further down river to another small island. Then something happens that blows my mind! A crab, a lowly crab pinches the cat with one claw and kills it! It didn’t even break a sweat, but then I don’t think crabs can sweat. The crab goes back to munching down it’s krill lunch and I make my way to shore, avoiding the deep fast flowing parts of the river.

That cat's got crabs
That cat’s got crabs

As soon as I get on land Meeko comes bounding up to meet me, he looks a little battered but mostly fine. I give him the best reward any dog can hope to get from a human, a pat on the head. We then make our way back to the road to Ror OH GOD ANOTHER CAT! Luckily for me Meeko must have done some damage to this one because it dies when I shoot an arrow at it, it probably also helps Meeko is attacking it too!

I go take another look at the scene of death I was looking at before the cats attacked us, yup, it’s horrific! I make my excuses and leave but not before skinning the cat we killed, its skin will make a nice pair of boots and a handbag.

We make it to Rorikstead by early evening and I do the only thing I’m good at, renting a room at the inn and buying meat and booze! I make full use of the facilities and sleep for 14 hours, the cat fight has really taken it out of me, literally, I think I’ve pooed myself!

Rorikstead, picture postcard lovely!
Rorikstead, picture postcard lovely!

Now it’s time to head out, onto the untraveled path, a new adventure awaits and it begins with one small step. I’ll just buy some traveling mead for the road!

Next time – The road less traveled

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