Skyrim is a vast sprawling game, you can pretty much do anything you want, so I decided to live in Skyrim, to see how an old man coped with the harsh environment and bizarre folk that inhabit this land. This is my tale!
80 year old man in Skyrim.
Only doing what an average 80 year old can do.
No constantly running, using shouts (special powerful magics), magic or fast travel.
No murder or stealing or anything unethical, should always try to run away from a fight.
Read part five here – https://radiothax.com/2013/10/17/old-man-in-skyrim-5/
I wake up to the sounds of Meeko barking and sniffing loudly, I suspect I have severe night farts. There is certainly a smell that would attest to this. I get up, eat a lump of some food, I’m not sure what exactly, more mystery meat. I check my map and see an island that I suspect the treasure might be on, so we head in that direction. The only problem is that we can’t get round or passed the cliffs, the bandits certainly chose a good impenetrable spot. The only options I can see is either going back the long way around, past fort skellingtons and that angry bear or heading off onto the moors and trying to climb round via that way or heading south and trying to cross the river and come at it from below. I take the last option as I don’t know if I can face either skellingtons or clambering over a steep hill.
We get over a bridge and spy in the distance, a buck being chased by two wolves. Everywhere on this damn world is dangerous. For the first time I unsheathe my bow, before I’ve even figured out how to put an arrow in Meeko has killed the two wolves. It’s a shame to let good fur and meat go to waste so I harvest them. We walk not more than 50 feet when were set upon by three bandits. Why won’t this place give me a break?! Meeko attacks and kills two but the third is coming at me, even though he is punching me into next week I can’t bring myself to raise my bow to him. I run away with him chasing me. Though I’m wily and run towards Meeko, who quickly leaps to my defence. That man really hurt me, he might have broken a rib. I plunder his and his companions pockets for gold, it’s the least they can do for me, they were happy to murder me and my dog, why should their corpses be rich?
We continue along the road a short way and by the time we’ve met and killed our fifth bandit I decide it’s probably best to turn around and clamber over the moors instead of continuing this way. As we walk towards the moor an unpleasant man tells me to ‘Go home milk drinker’. I’d love to go home and drink some delicious milk, I don’t know why he was so angry at me, so I just walk away from his grumpy bum. I don’t know why this area is so busy but seconds after the grumpy man, I meet a noble man on a horse, he even has a guard with him. A wise idea in these parts. I speak to the noble man, he practically spits at me and rides away. Why can’t these horrible people have been killed instead of my drinking buddies.
Meeko and I walk over the moors, it’s actually easy and quite pleasant, and wolf/bandit free. From up the hill we can see the bandit camp. For some reason, the noble man has gone in and walked his horse onto the bridge. What is he playing at? Inspecting the corpses? Oh god, does he know what my dog has done?! We only acted in self-defence, it was us or them. I can’t see his guard. But on the hill opposite I can see a few figures running this way and that, what is going on round here, is it a bandit conference?
I’m well rested and we walk on the moors some more, then we stumble on a bizarre scene, a dead deer and an abandoned war axe. I was thinking about making camp here but decide against it. I plan on camping by the fishing hut, but as I walk towards it I catch a glimpse of the bandit camp again. I can see the horse, but no noble or guard. Is this place some kind of human Bermuda triangle? I walk nearer and find an easy path round to the bandit camp, meaning I have wasted a whole day trying to find a route round over the moors and paths.
The horse looks incredibly shocked, I wish I knew what had happened!
I search the entire camp but can’t find any sight of the two gentlemen, where ever they are, I hope they’re happy together. I decide to spend another night in the bandit chefs bed, seems too nice an opportunity to let it go to waste.