I’ve just had a whole Chocolate Orange.  I put it all in my mouth at once, and unlike last year I didn’t nearly choke to death.  Last year I put it in my mouth then tried to drink a cup of hot chocolate, thinking the hot liquid would melt the orange chocolate.  It did, but too rapidly and my swallowing action meant I began to swallow the whole chocolate orange.  It got lodged in my throat, mum and dad weren’t in the house, panic set it. I couldn’t breathe!  I had only two options, the first one I tried was foolish.  I thought I would put all the hot chocolate in my mouth and swallow, hoping that the hotness of the drink would melt the chocolate orange further.  It did not, I badly burnt my mouth.  So my only other option was to give myself the Heimlich manoeuvre, though it didn’t work, so I threw myself against the wall as hard as I could.  My wall was only plaster board, I went right through it and onto the landing, I fell down the stairs!  Luckily for me this dislodged the chocolate orange.  Only, it dislodged it enough that it went downwards!  Almost whole, into my tummy!  It didn’t really break down much in my stomach and 2 days later I had to poo it out almost whole!  I would liken that to giving birth.  Out of my bum.  But eventually it burst its way out and thunked into the toilet, it didn’t look much different from how it went in.  I’m ashamed to say I had to remove it from the toilet and inspect it.  I was in turmoil for a good 20 minutes as to whether I should cut it in half and try eating a bit.   After all they have coffee beans that have been eaten by monkeys and pooed out, this was the same.  Or so I thought.

IT DID NOT TASTE GOOD!